Why Your Computer is Better than Your Girlfriend

So, back in the day, it was impossible to have both a computer and a girlfriend. This was before the computer was ubiquitous, and it was before nerdy was considered cool like it is today. Luckily, we live in the day now where just about everybody has a computer. This creates a society where the people who know how to use the computer well become cool people. Being a nerd is much more acceptable than it was back in the day. However, I have decided to write a persuasive argument to show that if you lived back in the day, why you would much rather choose a computer over having a girlfriend.

1. Your Computer can Process Trillions of Mathematical Operations per Second

This is the most significant use of a computer. You need your math homework done; your computer can do it in less than a millisecond. Even the slowest computers can compute faster than even the smartest women. If your girlfriend can process trillions of mathematical operations per second like your computer can, then I congratulate you. She’s a keeper. Never let her slip away.

2. Your Computer is Always There For You

Computers don’t play hard-to-get. You want to play a video game, make a spreadsheet, or google for some help; your computer can do it immediately. Your girlfriend has her own life, and sometimes she is too busy to fulfill your request. But your computer’s life exists only to serve your every need. That is unless Windows has a security update. Then, I suppose you’ll have to wait.

3. Your Computer Doesn’t Get Mad at You

Girlfriends can sometimes be a little bit petty. They get angry about the silliest things. I am, of course, talking about how they get mad when you text them, “I love you.” (Without the exclamation point.) However, your computer doesn’t care how you say things. (Except for your spellchecker, and in that case, it’s just trying to help.)

4. Your Computer Doesn’t Break Up With You

While girlfriends may leave you, your computer will be with you to the very end. This doesn’t mean that your computer might not die. After all, they do get old and break. But your girlfriend will die at some point as well.

5. You Can Upgrade Your Computer

Girls don’t like to be upgraded. They don’t like to take suggestions, and they certainly don’t get any smarter. However, you can improve your computer. If you want your computer to be able to handle more intensive tasks? Just place another stick of RAM in it. Want more screen? Just get another monitor. Your computer can keep getting better and better if you upgrade it.

6. You Can Do Anything With Your Computer

If you want to create a virtual world with your computer, you absolutely can. It’s called Minecraft, and it’s beautiful. Anything that needs to be done in real life, you can build a robot to do. The robot can be run on your computer. There are no limitations to the powers of your computer. Your girlfriend can’t do that much.

7. Your Computer can Be Used to Meet Girls

Nowadays, if you want a girlfriend, you can quickly meet one on your computer. It’s called online dating. If you and your girlfriend break up, there’s no way that she will help you find a replacement.

8. You Don’t Have to Talk About What Your Computer Wants to Talk About

One of the most irritating things about having a girlfriend is that they have their interests. If you want to keep them, you have to act at least like you’re interested in those things. Your computer’s only interest is helping you fulfill your interests.

9. The Things You Can See on the Internet Never Get Old

The things you enjoy with your girlfriend do eventually get old. However, there are so many things to enjoy with your computer that they will never get old. The internet is a vast place filled with amazing things, and all of those things are at your fingertips.

10. Your Girlfriend Can’t Give You Info Toast. Only Your Computer Can

The last one is perhaps the greatest reason of all. Info Toast is on your computer, not your girlfriend. So, keep reading more Info Toast. It will allow you to better work with your computer. Though we won’t help you please your woman. But that’s OK because your computer is better anyways.